2020 Struggles + New Year's Resolution

Happy New Year, Everyone! 2020 has been a crazy ride. Despite the challenges we are facing because of the pandemic, I also had some personal ones I needed to work and focus on in the past few months. 

I just want to be honest here on my blog. I struggled with the other side of weight management. People always talk about the struggles of losing weight, but the problems of gaining weight or being underweight aren't always discussed in the media. Some may even say "sana all" but that's not always the case. What I experienced helped me get to know myself more and made me realize that you really have to put in the effort if you want to reach your goals. 

When I came home from Thailand last year, my weight was 50kg. After a few months, I started losing weight and became 47kg. This year was the hardest. Even though I was just at home and eating home-cooked meals, I still constantly lose weight until it bothered me a lot. I knew that if I lose more weight, I will be underweight and that's a problem for me since I'm really trying to strengthen my immune system, especially during these trying times. I became so stressed and studied some ways on how to gain more weight. At that time, I was playing tennis almost every day, occasionally run in the morning/evening, and occasionally workout too. I still felt like I was doing something wrong. 

And then I hit 43kg. It worried me A LOT because 43kg meant I was underweight and I felt unhealthy. I ate more, reduced my exercise time, and used the MyFitnessPal app to help me with my meals. It was a constant battle as I was struggling to understand why I wasn't gaining weight. After several days of trying hard, I started to gain weight and wasn't underweight anymore. It was so fulfilling. It's still hard to gain some weight but that's something that I really want to work on this 2021. I am studying more about my situation and I hope that this year, I'll be able to hit my 50 kg and focus on my fitness goals.  

This experience helped me understand other people more. Sometimes, we are easy to comment on other people's bodies but we never really know what they are going through. There are times in the past few months when people would give comments like: "You are so thin" or "you have to gain some weight" without knowing that I was actually struggling to gain weight. But that's fine. 

Cheers to a new year and may your goals be fulfilled! If you have some suggestions or advice, please let me know! Thank you.